Top 10 Ways to Fail Miserably At Losing Weight

Top 10 Ways to Fail Miserably At Losing Weight
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Americans are getting fatter. I hate to be the one to put
it so bluntly, but the scales don't lie. 65% of adult
Americans are either overweight or obese. 25% of Americans
are obese.

Now for the bad news - things are only getting worse. In
1991, only four states had obesity rates of 15 to 19
percent and none had obesity rates greater than 20 percent.
By the year 2000, all of the 50 states had obesity rates of
15 percent or greater, with 35 of the 50 states having
obesity rates as high as 20 percent or greater.

In 2005, obesity rates increased in 49 out of 50 States
(congratulations to Oregon for bucking the trend). The
Trust for America's Health is projecting that by 2008 a
staggering 73% of US adults could be overweight or obese.
The trend is clear - we are all getting fatter by the day.

With the rise of the Internet and our new information on
demand society you can hardly sneeze without hitting a "how
to lose weight article." Books, articles, videos, TV
specials, magazine, blogs, web sites - they are filled with
tips and tricks on how to lose weight. Is there any
celebrity left who has not published a diet book?

So, two trends seem undeniable - we are getting fatter and
we are getting bombarded with articles on how not to get
fatter. In fact, I would argue there is a direct
correlation - the more articles written on losing weight,
the more weight we gain. While it was a reasonable
assumption to think that writing articles on how to lose
weight would help people lose weight - the numbers reveal
that is not true.

Not one to ignore statistics - I now see as a health author
I am part of the obesity problem. Today I will correct
that mistake. If writing articles on how to lose weight
has led to record levels of obesity, then writing an
article on how to gain weight should lead to record levels
of weight loss.

In my quest to help reverse the growing obesity rate, here
are my

Top 10 Ways to Fail Miserably at Losing Weight...

1. Natural = Bad. Fully processed = good

Fruits, vegetables, whole grains - these just don't spike
the blood sugar levels. Fully processed, close to
impossible to digest foods - this is where you get to ride
the insulin roller coaster to certain weight gain.

2. If you can pronounce the ingredients in your food, you
are eating the wrong food.

Grab a snack, flip it over and read the ingredients. If
you can actually pronounce all the ingredients - put it
down. You need to concentrate on snacks that have a list
of ingredients that require a PhD in chemical engineering
to decipher.

3. Drink more Eggnog

At 430 calories and 20 grams of fat per cup - Eggnog is a
guaranteed way to put on those extra pounds. Stock up
around the holidays, you want to make sure you still have
eggnog left when you are trying to put on that extra 10
pounds so your bikini doesn't fall off you come summer time.

4. It is hard to eat while exercising - so don't exercise.

Exercise simply cuts into the few waking hours you have to
eat food - so don't do it!

5. Eat Late

Numerous studies have shown that our body has a tough time
burning the calories we eat late at night. Try to have
your largest, sugar laden meals just seconds before you
doze off.

6. Super size your Super Size

Super Size meals, Double Big Gulps - all moves in the right
direction, but just not enough. A good rule of thumb - if
you don't need a dolly to carry your meal from a fast food
restaurant - you haven't super sized enough.

7. Remove all mirrors from your home

Mirrors just reflect reality - who wants this. You need to
make sure the media decides exactly how you perceive
yourself.

8. Eat Out and Eat Often

Having all your meals away from home is a great way to pack
on the extra pounds. Of course, "all you can eat buffets"
are the Holy Grail of gaining weight.

9. Have all home faucets rewired to a soda keg

Drinking plenty of water can wreck havoc on your goal of
NOT losing weight. To avoid any temptation to drink water,
have a plumber hook your faucets up to a soda keg. Simply
replacing 60 ounces of water with the same amount of Coke
will add a nifty 700 calories to your diet.

10. Remove all positive people from your life

You are going to need to be down, depressed and negative to
succeed in failing your diet. Remember - food is your
comfort, not friends or family. Stock the cupboards with
comfort food and disconnect the phone.

While other writers continue to act irresponsibly -
contributing to the obesity rate by writing articles on how
to lose weight - I want to be able to sleep at night. If I
could just get Oprah and Dr. Phil to join me in writing
articles on how not to lose weight, I am sure we could put
an end to obesity.

Copyright © 2006 Hoodia Advice, LLC

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Dan Nessel is a health and diet writer just trying to help
Americans lose weight. When Mr. Nessel is not writing
whimsical articles about a serious matter such as Obesity,
he works as a researcher for Hoodia-Advice.Org.
Hoodia-Advice.Org specializes in presenting unbiased
research and information on Hoodia Gordonii.
http://www.hoodia-advice.org